Body-painting companies must have really made bank during the reality dating boom.

If you love body paint, you are probably on a reality dating show -- or you are filming an , two shows with similar concepts and equally terrible names. Instead, you are getting a steady stream of burns, giggles, and insights like, "Reggie is obsessed with pornography and has deep-seated emotional issues." , this show aired on FOX.

It was about a woman who had to pick from 20 men who all wore frightening masks, so that they would be judged by their character instead of their looks, and it was hosted by Monica Lewinsky because presumably Kato Kaelin was busy.

If you find yourself lying about your income and wearing much nicer shirts than you would normally sport, but still unbuttoning them a few extra buttons because you are a human beefcake, you are probably Joe Millionaire.

The whole thing reeks of sleazy douchebags, and naturally the catchphrase of the show is “Don’t hate the player, hate the game!

” I can’t think of another sentence in the English language that will get a drink thrown in your face faster, and for that reason, I’m in.

Statistically, dating shows have a lower success rate than Alex Smith deep balls.

Dating shows have become our common guilty pleasure, although we may not want to admit it.

contestant, or that he at least went through an extremely questionable phase.

He does seem to be a front-runner at this point given that he won the first impression rose and hasn't started a weird sexually charged feud with another contestant yet, so we’ll have to wait and see what happens.

He’s wearing a “T” hat and a sweatshirt with a “TK” logo.

Ostensibly, Kelce is talking about the importance of the date.

“A huge part of being a professional athlete is my brand,” Kelce tells them.